- Being” verbs. You’ll have to use them sometimes, of course, but they often slow the pace of a sentence. Compare “still, dustgreen trees” to “trees that are a dusty-colored green.”
- Passive constructions. Passive voice, which occurs when the subject of the sentence receives action rather than performing it, inevitably clogs sentences. Compare the flies that “are killed by the impact” versus the flies that simply “die.”
- Filler words. We writers love words…maybe a little too much. Are all of our words necessary? Play a game with your WIP: take a few sentences and try to rewrite them to be half as long, a third as long, even just an eighth as long. Experiment with what words you can cut without losing meaning.
- Read the rest of the article by Sarah Baughman at Suzannah's site at wrap http://writeitsideways.com
- However. And this from
me. You must be careful not to make your book into a synopsis of the story
you tell and your characters cardboard people. The reader still needs to
know how your characters think and feel, their despair and joy, to enter
their minds so the reader becomes one with the character and to the reader
that character becomes a person.
* * *
Danny and Will Hennessy are off to fight in WW2, leaving their father, Jack Hennessy, to manage the huge Walara sheep property.
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